Zdenek Ruzicka on April 30, 2013 at 3:24 pm ∞
how are you guys? Hope you’re still around
I recently finished my very first script ever and thought why not to share it with filmpunch! It’s a short. If you’re in mood and interested, please, read it and let me know if you liked it! Please note that english is not my first language.
Hope you’re having a great day guys,
Salvation 6 Screenplay.pdf (71 KB)
Margaret Zimmerman on December 3, 2013 at 1:44 pm ∞
Loved the script Zdenek! I have a few small critiques.
I think the story could benefit from showing a little more backstory of James’s relationship with Kayser. It seems really interesting. Maybe when he leaves for six months we could get some flashbacks? The drama and tension would be heightened even more at the end if we knew more about their relationship. Just a little bit though. Still keep it mysterious.
Also, I think you could easily cut out most of James traveling back to the city. The plot moves pretty quickly, so it would make sense to have that part be very brief.
That’s just my two cents. Otherwise it was really cool! I loved the action, the themes, and just the vibe altogether. And the twist at the end was awesome. I would love to see this come to the screen. Keep at it!
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.